To All The Boys I Thought I Loved…

To the young boy I have a crushed during my childhood, thank you…

Thank you for being my childhood memories, thank you for teaching me that sometimes love is really that naive. I’m sorry that I mistook what I felt about you as true love, now I know it’s just a mere crush.

To the first boy that hold my hand, thank you…

Thank you for teaching me that physical touch is just a mere physical touch sometimes, nothing more than that. I’m sorry that I thought my feelings is enough to hold on to you, now I know that it’s not that simple.

To the first guy that I introduced to my parents, thank you…

Thank you for being the first guy that let me know what I want in life and what I want in relationship. I’m sorry that you aren’t any of those things that I want.

To the guy I have spent a whole year worth of time to meet for the first time, thank you…

Thank you for being the cruelest person I’ve known in my whole life, leading me blindly, making me believe that you are in love with me but have no desire to fight for what could be. I’m sorry that I make you choose it’s all or nothing, because I’m not gonna settle for less than ‘All’ 

To the guys who said they want me, thank you…

Thank you for telling me that, but no, thank you. I’m sorry that I choose to be alone rather than be wanted for a night and be treated like shit the rest of the time. 

To all the boys I thought I’ve loved, thank you…

Thank you for showing me that love is not as simple as what people says. For that now I know what I want in love and in life, and I guess all I want to say is that…

I’m sorry I was not a strong enough girl to know what I want.

I’m sorry I was not a weak enough girl to bow down to all your wants.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to tell you how I’m feeling. 

I’m sorry that I want more than what you had to offer.

But mostly I’m sorry that after all the sorrys I’ve said and written, what I’m sorry the most is the fact that after everything, I’m not sorry at all… not for my decisions to leave you guys behind in the past. For I know, I shouldn’t settle for a mediocre love. 

So, while waiting for my future to come, here I will be…

Simply, comfortably in love… 
The Blue Hair Girl

 

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Strangers After Today…

You were a stranger before yesterday…

And you’ll be stranger after today…

A memory to keep… A name to vaguely remember…

A feeling of unfamiliarity every single time someone mentioned you or your name… 

There’s someone who turn into a stranger like this before you… 

And there will be another in the future… 

Just two stranger sharing a table and two separate cups of the worst coffee in town… 

And maybe when I totally forgot about you in the future… 

When we are back to being a total stranger, we will do this again in another coffee shop, in another town, another part of the earth, in another period of time, in another lifetime… 

—- t.b.h.g

An Advise To Myself…

When is the last time you danced on the street when you hear a good music?

When is the last time you exclaim how delicious the food you are eating?

When is the last time you smile to a stranger you pass by on the street, and just greet them and wish them a good day?

When is the last time walk around town and take pictures of them before they changes?

When is the last time you slow down your steps just to breathe and enjoy the sunshine, feel the breeze?

When is the last time you stop just to enjoy the music played by some good street musician?

When is the last time you sat down on the grass, with a book under the tree?

When is the last time you venture alone?

When is the last time you jump into a chance of happiness without thinking?

When is the last time you let time heal you?

When is the last time you let yourself fall in love?

Do it baby, before it’s too late, do it.

Slow down, dance, eat, listen to good music, tap your feet to a good rhythm you listen to on the street, read your favorite book, greet a stranger, venture into the unknown, sleep under the tree.

Let yourself heal and enjoy life again.

and lastly…

fall in love baby… fall in love like you never fall in love before…

—- t.b.h.g

How I wish I never known you…

never open up to you… 

never lay my heart bare to you…
So when you hurt me, you wouldn’t know how I react…

Wouldn’t know even the slightest…

That my heart is in pieces now… 

And they keep echoing the one question I want an answer to…

‘Why wouldn’t you take the risk and gave yourself a chance of happiness?’ 
—- t.b.h.g 

Empty Cigarettes Box

365 days, I waited to meet you… 

365 days, all I get is ‘I love you, but I’m sorry’ 

And all I have left of you is the empty cigarettes box, of your favourite brand and a few pictures of us… the last time we are together… 

365 days, and I need to let you go… 

365 days… 
—-t.b.h.g 

What scare me the most isn’t being heartbroken… 

It is being heartbroken and being numb to it to the point you didn’t even realised you are heartbroken that frightened the hell out of me… 

And you, you are the reason I am heartbroken over and over again…

And I’m on the verge of being numb… 
—- t.b.h.g

Comment Allez-Vous?

Bonjour a Tous!

Je suis en vacances a Paris. C’est tres bien ici! 🙂

Well that’s as much as I can go with my french, at least for now. It’s been exactly two week that I live here in Paris.

It’s been an exhilarating experience so far, being alone in a foreign country, where I don’t know the culture or even the language. Liberating in so many different ways you can imagine.

Traveling does makes you open up your mind. Your problems seems smaller and unimportant. In the past two weeks, I feel myself coming back to me. I guess it’s true then, that traveling is essential to self-actualization. Enough about me though, I’m writing this piece to give you some insight and tips about traveling in Paris.

  • If you’re travelling for more than a week, go and find an AirBnb apartment instead of hotel, because it’s much cheaper than staying in a hotel. Be informed that the apartment here is quite small and most of them don’t have escalator or lift, so be mindful with the size of your luggage and the weight, because you will need to carry them up and down. Also that sometimes, they shared  bathroom per floor, so please pick the apartment carefully when you are browsing the app.
  • Let’s face it, Paris isn’t the safest place, so beware of pickpockets and robbery, and also beware of the gypsies scams. If you are approached by some stranger you don’t know, just smile and walk away. If you saw someone playing guess ‘where’s the ball?’ on the street, don’t get tricked and play with them.
  • Paris is a big city, and a place of destinations. It’s prone to be targeted for a terrorist attack, so the security is strict here. Open up your bag for the security to check whenever you are going to enter the mall or famous places. The line could be very long so open up your handbag before you are in front of the security. It’s a normal procedure here so there’s nothing to be afraid of. You just scan and then you go!
  • Go get a NaviGo Card at the ticket booth at any metro station nearest to you if you are going to travel around Paris. It’s 5 Euro for the card and 22.80 Euro for zone 1-5 for a week, means you can just go anywhere by bus, metro, tram, train just using this card. You’ll need an ID picture to be pasted on your NaviGo Card, so be prepared. But if you don’t, they usually have a photomaton for you to take the pictures.
  • Here are some of the list of the metro stations to the famous places and the museums, and some of my favorite place to eat.
    • La Tour Eiffel – Trocadero
    • Musee Du Louvre – Palais Royal
    • Shakespeare & Co. Bookshop – Saint Michel
    • Notre Dame – Saint Michel
    • Quartier Latin – Saint Michel
    • I will update more when I go to more places.
  • The Metro System is the same with Singapore MRT System, but they do have more lines. So just be careful and make sure you take the right line and stop at the right metro station.

 

So that’s it for this post, I will write more post and write more tips and secrets, and more list of metro stops to places that I think you should visit when you are in Paris.

Au Revoir!

Sincerely…

Simply, comfortably in love…

 

The Blue Hair Girl